StupidiNews, Weekend Edition!

• The National Institute of Standards and Technology has unveiled their newest atomic clock, accurate enough to only lose a second over 300 million years.
• US officials have granted aerospace giant Boeing license to sell airliner parts to Iran for the first time since the Iranian revolution in 1979.
• McDonald's has closed its restaurants in Crimea fearing an anti-Western backlash after a Russian politician called for all US chains to be ousted from Russia.
• The March employment numbers are in with the US economy adding 192,000 jobs as the unemployment rate held steady at 6.7%.
• Credit agency Experian is facing investigations by multiple states' attorneys general over the possible breach of as many as 200 million social security numbers.