Sunday, November 13, 2011

Remembering Jack Palance

Jack Palance was a great actor, and a hell of a man.  According to his daughter Holly, he was also a hell of a parent.

Sure, when we lose someone we love we tend to forget their flaws and remember them with an exaggerated loyalty.  But Holly's storytelling and memories couldn't come from someone with a shallow or disconnected upbringing.  It's a short read but touching and gives a few comments about her generation and loss as well.

This morning, on the fifth anniversary of my father's death, I saw a raisin pie in the bakery and burst into tears. My Dad adored raisin pie. And I adored him.

I may be 60, but I've discovered that you don't outgrow being a Daddy's girl.

His memory is with me every day. He was tall, talented and a man of few words. When he spoke, I listened. He made me feel like the best little girl/young woman/woman in the world. In his book, I could do no wrong.

Boomers like to call themselves orphans after their parents have 'slipped the surly bonds of earth,' but that doesn't make sense to me. On my eighth birthday my father took me to a real orphanage to hand out Ukrainian costumed dolls, identical to the present he had just given me. I didn't understand what we were doing there, but he soon made the reason clear. These girls, he said, had no mother or father. I had both. The least I could do was share the bounty I'd been given. He said it would make me feel grateful for my good fortune. He was right.

The rest of the article tells an even better story, one that I think more parents should read.  My own dad said once that the reward of living a good solid life is being able to respect yourself and be comfortable and confident with who you are.  That also meant believing in yourself and being willing to listen but firm in your understanding.  Palance believed in something similar, and taught the lessons the easy way first, the hard way if necessary, but he never failed to teach his daughter what she needed to know.

I went out looking for a nice read, and I found one. I hope you enjoy it as well!

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